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A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this huge muscleman standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "Seven feet, five inches tall, 310 lbs, 16 inch penis, testicles -- over a pound each...Turner Brown."

The little guy just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks "Are you okay?"

In a very weak voice the little guys says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?"

The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. "I'm seven feet, five inches tall, I weigh 310 lbs, I have a 16 inch penis, my testicles weigh over a pound each, and my name is Turner Brown."

The little guys says, "Oh, thank God!!! I thought you said 'Turn around'
 

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How about this one??

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party.

The Indian Chief proclaimed, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger.
In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But,
before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse." Chief
nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's
ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a
beautiful blond woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blond
enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed.
"You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you
in two days. What is your second request?" The Lone Ranger again asks to
speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time
with a voluptuous brunette, even more attractive than the blond.
She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed
a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your last request?"
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse, alone."

The Chief is curious, but he agrees and Silver is brought to the
Lone Ranger's tent.

Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears,looks him
square in the eye and says, "Listen carefully, for the last time."

"I said; BRING POSSE"
 

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:lol
 

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Here's one too -

Question - How are tornadoes and marriage alike?


Answer - They both begin with alot of sucking and blowing and in the end you lose your house.

:D
 
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